Fear: The siren call to change

Fear means that you are unwilling to venture into the unknown, to take risks or to accept and adjust to change.

by Jackie Lapin — 

When most people think of fear, they probably conjure up images of screaming women in slasher films, horrible villains or heroes being chased by zombies. But, for most of us, fear is more like an insidious virus that our minds and emotions create to stop us from moving forward.

Fear is the mind/ego’s way of saying: “I am not going there. I like being right where I am. I am familiar with my current state. If I plunk myself down right here, nothing can hurt me because I already know this territory. I am not worthy and, if I stretch myself, I might get rejected.”

Fear means that you are unwilling to venture into the unknown, to take risks or to accept and adjust to change. Fear is about ignoring imperatives to change, putting your head in the sand and expecting problems to go away, while allowing others to control your life because you may not have the courage or confidence to control it on your own. Fear will always leave your life messy, miserable and myopic.

You may not actually be aware of the grip that fear has on you. And even if you are, you can sometimes feel powerless to change because of tightly held past beliefs.

Fear can be your ally. If you feel it, it is a siren call to change. When you bump up against fear, you really are being called to move forward, take a well-calculated risk, flow with the change and make the course correction you have been resisting by crossing the seemingly impenetrable barrier. Strike out boldly and  reach for freedom.

So how can you move beyond fear to something better when it is knocking at your door?

The flipside of fear is faith. If you are experiencing fear, something is pressing you to change. Where does that urgency for change originate — in your heart, in your spirit, in the universe? If it originates in the universe, your heart and your spirit are indeed pushing you forward. Let go and trust. Allow your faith to spring forward. Ask if this change is for your highest good. If the answer is yes, then trust the universe to allow the benefits to unfold once you give up resisting and start moving forward.

If the pressure is mounting from outside — job loss, relationship breakup and so on — again, ask if this is for your highest good. These conditions are the universe speaking to you in the dialect of loving change and redirection. Trust and go with the flow.

Affirm “I am fear-less!” Whenever you are overwhelmed by fear, repeat this affirmation again and again. Repeat it with conviction and power, as if you were brandishing a wooden stake in order to ward off a vampire. Confidence grows as you remind yourself that you have no reason to fear, because you are a fearless being with the ultimate support system.

Get clear. If part of your fear is confusion about which steps to take or where to head, spend time in silence asking questions. Reach out to someone who can coach you through the process of getting clear or put your options in writing. These are just some of the ways you can get focused, so that with clear intention you can begin loosening the grip of fear.

What is the worst thing that could happen if you do move forward? Usually, fear has been built up in your mind into something greater than it could have ever been in reality. When you take a look at the worst-case scenario, it is really not all that terrible. Positive action comes from the simple realization that moving forward will easily outweigh the negative. Voilà — paralysis unblocked.

Bring it out into the light. The more you look at fear from an objective standpoint (as if you were outside your body), hold it to the light and examine why it is making you crazy, the more power you will have to eradicate it. Think of yourself as a sleuth bringing clues out into the open in order to solve a case.

Recalibrate your limiting beliefs and go for expansion. Look at the beliefs that are causing you to hold onto your fear. What is real and what is not? Make a list of these limiting concepts. Then list the opposite possibilities — the expansionist and unlimited beliefs that you could be holding — the ones that can enable you to move forward with confidence and courage.

Stop thinking about what you are giving up and start looking at what you are potentially gaining. What is the upside? This is an easy one. Ultimately moving toward your highest good will always have a greater potential upside, rather than staying where you are or giving up what you currently have.

Talk it out. Find a forward-thinking and positive friend, someone who is used to stepping through fear, or perhaps a counselor or coach. Discuss what you are feeling. Ask that person to tell you stories of how others found success by moving beyond fear. Be inspired by other people’s courageous acts.

Fear is not real. It is just thoughts and emotions that can be changed. Fear is something you created in your mind, a virtual prison that you can choose to make disappear by hitting the delete button.

Stop clinging and start living. Life is an exciting “E-ticket” ride with everything you want if you will simply embrace the unknown. If you persist on clinging to the known, you will never experience anything different. Greet your unknown future with a warm welcome, and magical things will start to happen.

Consciously create/visualize the outcome. Once you release fear and unwaveringly commit to change, you can help secure a positive future by consciously creating it. Make sure you are operating at a high frequency, create your visualization, postmark it to the universe and then let it go with a blessing of gratitude. Fear has a way of fading in the wake of action and purpose.

Jackie Lapin tours the world teaching Practical Conscious Creation and is the author of The Art of Conscious Creation: How You Can Transform the World and Practical Conscious Creation: Daily Techniques to Manifest Your Desires. She is also the founder of LifeWisdomNetwork.com, a place where mind/body/spirit entrepreneurs and self-help experts connect. www.jackielapin.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 30, Number 5, Oct/Nov 2011.