Are you in the Gap?

February 28, 2012

Fear, Life Coaching, Self-improvement

“… you are not where you were and you are not where you want to be. You are in between — inside the Gap — on the threshold of possibility."

by Richard Seaman — 

Through the years many clients have come in for sessions for myriad reasons. Most of them are in need of a life coach as they face life’s dilemmas or feel out of control due to paralyzing fear. The stories are always different, but a familiar thread runs through all of them — that of people needing help to move forward.

I hold a sacred space for those who come to me as they share their stories, and I often feel joy as I witness their souls shifting, changing, healing, stretching and, most importantly, evolving to higher levels. My clients generally are going through a space of time I call the Gap, which stands for “God’s automatic purge.” This means you are not where you were and you are not where you want to be, but in between — inside the Gap — on the threshold of possibility.

While in the Gap, you might be overwhelmed to the point of feeling stuck and wondering how you will make it to the other side unscathed, yet still in possession of all the things you have worked so hard to obtain. It goes without saying that paralyzing fear can derail you into depression and anxiety, leaving you feeling wrecked and hopeless.

This feeling of doom can come in like a wild winter storm, erasing all visibility and leaving you with little perspective, which can create the most negative of outcomes. Doubt, being the enemy, only feeds the ego that perfect meal of fear. It becomes a cycle that’s hard to break, and you may find yourself questioning your faith.

Everybody has likely been in the Gap at one time or another in his or her life. Most of us forget the fear once we have moved on and gotten through it. For many of us, it has all worked out.

This is where faith comes in. This is where we have to remind ourselves that we have experienced trying times before and somehow were able to get through them. This is when we have to walk into the Gap with blind faith, knowing we will emerge from it.

Seeing the big picture is hard when you’re in the Gap. It’s as though you are caught in the middle of a swirling river, not knowing if you should swim left or right. Sometimes when we are in the Gap, we need to simply be quiet and do nothing except wait on God’s still voice — the voice within. If you hear it and heed it, you can nudge yourself forward. Remind yourself that everything is in divine timing, and you have no control, except how you choose to see things. Surrender and connect to your faith, and remember that this, too, will pass. No storm rages forever.

The Gap is a reset; a shakeup in your reality — taking you from once to place to another, one level to another. Know that when we are the most uncomfortable, we are growing the most. Above all, remember to have faith, and know that you will get to the place you need to be.


Richard Seaman has been a master life coach for more than 15 years and is the author of It’s All in the Sharing. He is a motivational speaker and teaches at Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in the life coaching program. or

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 28, Number  5, Oct/Nov 2009.

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