Finding solace after loss

Grieving is not only the process you go through when someone dies; you can also grieve the loss of a job or a relationship.

by Joy Abrams — 

It is very traumatic to lose someone you love. This heart-wrenching experience is filled with great challenges. Whether the departed is a relative, a friend or a pet, the experience is never easy. The surge of emotions that rush through your mind and body can leave you depleted.

Grieving is not only the process you go through when someone dies; you can also grieve the loss of a job or a relationship.

Receiving support from a bereavement specialist can be very helpful. But for some people it works best to set a goal of taking three to six months to speak about the painful event, and then begin to work on moving forward. It’s important during this difficult time to try not to engage in victimizing behavior. For example, if someone asks you about the event, tell them you are working to move forward and find meaning and purpose in your life. Avoid repeating details of the unpleasant situation again and again.

Start rituals and change your view

One way to move beyond your loss is to start a ritual. This might involve lighting candles and saying a special prayer that relates to your loss. It might also be helpful to meditate every night at a special time in a place that holds meaning for you. Journaling while sitting in a favorite chair can also be comforting.

Sometimes a literal change of perspective helps when you are going through a major life crisis. How about changing the view you first look at when you wake up in the morning? Instead of a blank wall, select a hopeful picture, lovely flowers or a fountain to wake up to. It will be easier to look forward to your day if you awaken to an inspirational view that is meaningful to you.

Use essential oils and incorporate color

The use of essential oils can help you relax and lift depression. Add a few drops of rosewood to your bathwater to help balance and soothe you. This will enable your cells to regenerate. The use of lavender can relieve sadness as well as boost your immune system. Use rose to lift long nights of insomnia.

Using color can help you work through the feelings you might be experiencing. Incorporate the color red to help you get up and get going. Add yellow to give you some cheer. Use blue for meditation. Green will connect you to nature, while orange can help repel feelings of loneliness. Use white for purification and black for strength.

Activate the health area of the bagua

In the practice of feng shui, the area affecting your physical and spiritual health is the center of the room. Place items such as crystals, ceramics or anything symbolizing Earth there to activate the earth element.

Also, be sure to increase your personal chi by performing regular yoga workouts or walking and connecting with nature.

Start by implementing one or two of these suggestions weekly, and watch how well they work for you. Things don’t always happen the way you envisioned, but it helps to realize that the universe has a plan for you, and that includes participating in your life to the fullest.

Joy Abrams, MA, FSII, is an author, owner of AAA Feng Shui and Yoga, and feng shui and yoga master who offers seminars to designers for A.S.I.D. credits. She also is a bereavement specialist and a facilitator at the New Song Center for Grieving Children. www.aaafengshuiandyoga.com or 602-791-5223.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 27, Number 2, April/May 2008.