Great expectations

When we create visions for a desired outcome or expect our life to unfold in a specific way, we often are surprised when things do not turn out as we anticipated.

by Sandy Jones — 

Have you ever gone shopping for a particular item with a vision firmly planted in your mind of what it looks like, feels like or even tastes like? But what happens next? If your experience has been like mine, most of the time you never find it.

When we become so focused on what we “think” we want, we often miss finding what it is we really need. It could be staring us in the face, but we look right past it. Great expectations, indeed.

When we create visions for a desired outcome or expect our life to unfold in a specific way, we often are surprised when things do not turn out as we anticipated. We expect ourselves and others to act in a certain way. How many times have you imagined yourself doing one thing in a given situation, and wound up doing the exact opposite? It’s almost as if expectations are hard-wired into our system — and the fact is, they are.

In the book Emotional Alchemy, by Tara Bennet-Golemen, expectations are referred to as schemas: mental habits, or programmed reactions and responses to events as they unfold. Often schemas are tied to negative events, but they can be tied to emotional high points as well, which also trigger learned responses.

The movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know?” visually depicts the body’s physical response to our addictive emotions. If you saw the movie, you likely recall the scene of the wedding reception, which astutely illustrates this concept. The movie’s characters demonstrate how our past experiences can follow us into the present. Wow! Who knew all of those little peptides were creating external stimuli and subsequent chain reactions within us whenever we try to fulfill our expectations?

How do we release such great expectations? What can we do if we want to change a mental habit? The first step involves becoming aware. Become the witness. We can watch our story unfold and examine our actions — how we react, what we say and how we feel. Listening to our thoughts helps us learn to let go of expectations.

Learn to love the mystery life brings. As my father always says, “Expect the unexpected.”

Awareness is the key to unlocking our greatest mystery and our greatest misery. At any given moment, we can create something new, through a change of perspective or a course correction in our mental state. This way, we begin the process of rewiring our bodies. There is so much power in a single thought.

We are in charge of our experiences. In every moment, thought, feeling, reaction and outcome, we determine the course of our lives. It’s our party. Make it a great one. Expect the unexpected.

Sandy Jones worked as a designer, teacher, software specialist and entrepreneur in the tech industry for 25 years. She recently created Soul Motivations, a ministry devoted to helping people remember. 480-491-2464 or [email protected].

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 24, Number 6, December 2005/January 2006.