Healing your emotional pain

Necessary to the healing process is a willingness to do the work. The old adage, “time heals,” is true only when we do the emotional work.

by Glenyss Lim — 

How often have you said, “Oh, I’m all right,” when in fact you were hurting, crying out inside, stressed, angry or not knowing how to handle the circumstances of your life or the feelings you were carrying around?

You are not alone. We are all together in this mystery called life. We take turns at being in pain or crisis. Enjoy the respite if you are currently in a phase of calm and serenity, for your turn to suffer will come again. In reality, pain is our opportunity to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. As my great teacher, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, said, “Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings.”

We can accelerate the process of finding this internal beauty by actively pursuing our inner work in ways that are uplifting and relatively smooth. This can take many forms, as indicated by the plethora of information with which we are inundated from “out there” about varying modalities for growth.

Meanwhile, we can work on ourselves and support others through loss and pain by recognizing and utilizing some basic principles. The first is to be honest with both ourselves and others. We do no one any favors by shielding them from the truth. What is more, on some deeper level we all know the truth anyway. We do not like to be placated or minimized. The sooner the illusion is shattered and the truth confronted, whatever its form, the sooner real healing and growth can occur.

Necessary to the healing process is a willingness to do the work. The old adage, “time heals,” is true only when we do the emotional work. Time alone is insufficient. Being human means we often want to avoid the work and the energy it takes — to our detriment.

Louise Hay expresses this need to do our emotional and spiritual work beautifully in her book, The Power Is Within You, when she uses the metaphor, “I don’t care how spiritual you are, you have got to wash your dishes every now and then. You can’t let the sink pile up with dirty dishes and say, ‘Oh, I’m metaphysical.’ The same with your feelings. If you want to have a mind that flows freely, then you must wash your mental dirty dishes.”

One of the hardest pieces of work we have to do is that of forgiveness, either of another or of ourselves. There are multiple ways we can do this — face to face, through ritual, meditation, journaling, poetry, etc. — just as there are multiple excuses we can find for not forgiving.

It is never too late to forgive. Even if the other person is no longer around, many therapeutic techniques exist to allow the forgiving. Everyone benefits, but most of all, we do. Forgiveness enhances our own progression toward wholeness and the accompanying peace of mind.

The most important factors are wanting to change; realizing there is a better space to be in and that we deserve as much; and reaching this new place of heightened peace and awareness. Once our will to change is activated, the sky is the limit.

Glenyss Lim, R.N., B.A., is a LaHo Chi energy practitioner, sound healer and counselor with a background in loss and grief issues. She assists clients to eliminate the core cause of physical, mental or emotional imbalance, including disconnecting from relationships. 480-246-9172 or Glenysslim@hotmail.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 26, Number 6, December 2007/January 2008.