How to ask for help

If you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your highest hopes.

by Ada Porat — 

Asking for help is not something most of us do naturally. In fact, we often find it painfully difficult to do because it makes us feel vulnerable, weak or ashamed; our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, asking for help does not indicate weakness. Life is about learning and growth; in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth. By asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights and ultimately empower ourselves.

If you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your highest hopes.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:

  • Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Neglected problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain energy and resources.
  • Recognize that everyone (including you) deserves a helping hand. It is in supporting one another that we all benefit and grow.
  • Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, you will learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.
  • Ask someone you trust. If they do not have the answer, they likely will know someone who does.
  • Be clear about your need. The proven words are, “I need your help.” Simple and to the point.
  • Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you cannot describe the exact problem, document what you know about the circumstances, as well as what you need.
  • Get a commitment. Ask if this individual is able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, you benefit.
  • When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no one is around to help, or you might pass along the information to someone else in need.


Ada Porat is a vibrational healer and life balance coach with extensive international teaching and clinical experience. She integrates body/mind/spirit techniques from the fields of vibrational healing, consciousness development and life coaching to promote well-being for clients. or 602-283-4628.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 25, Number 5, October/November 2006.

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