How to create self-love for emotional and physical health

How to create self-love for emotional and physical health

Many of us have heard that it is important to love ourselves, but rarely are we given the knowledge of how to do it. We are a society that is more judgmental than compassionate, and we tend to offer punishment as the corrective way to become “better.”

by Carole J. (Meisner) Morton —

Self-love is the strong inner energy that enables you to feel peaceful, confident, self-trusting and energetic, and gives you the ability to maintain loving relationships and a strong immune system. In this article, I offer you the knowledge needed to build a loving relationship with yourself.

Many of us have heard that it is important to love ourselves, but rarely are we given the knowledge of how to do it. We are a society that is more judgmental than compassionate, and we tend to offer punishment as the corrective way to become “better.”

As a result, children grow up acting self-punishing in an earnest attempt to become “better.” From spankings to detentions to prison, punishment has not cured our ills. We are actually sicker (both mentally and physically) due to our inner judgments and lack of self-love.

As the energy within us turns from judgment to compassion, we learn to relate to ourselves with kindness, patience, understanding and forgiveness — which is then naturally extended to others. We experience less stress and create better relationships. When we treat ourselves this way, we will not accept less than this from others, and we offer no less than this to others.

The steps to self-love are easy to understand but can be challenging, so I suggest that you find a support person who understands the process and can be of help. This can be a trained psychotherapist, a counselor or a clergy person. Most importantly, your support person must always advocate your innocence and help bring compassion to any self-blaming beliefs or guilty feelings you are carrying.

1. Understand that the beliefs about yourself are the result of how you were treated in your early life. If you were not treated with sensitivity and kindness, then those beliefs about yourself are mistakes that need correcting. You always deserved to be treated with sensitivity and kindness, and you are not to blame.

2. Take responsibility for your feelings. They are the result of your beliefs about yourself — no one now is causing them. You will feel hurt or angry only if you believe another person’s rude behavior or mistreatment of you is somehow your fault. If you do not blame yourself for that person’s behavior (also known as “taking it personally”), you will not suffer the pain of hurt or anger.

3. Find compassion for the painful beliefs your inner-self holds. Help that inner-being reclaim innocence. There is always a reason for your behavior, but that reason is never that you are bad.

These are the nuts and bolts of the process of creating a loving energy within yourself. It can be hard work, but you are worth it.

Carole J. (Meisner) Morton is the author of Entering Your Own Heart: A Guide to Developing Self-Love, Inner Peace and Happiness. An integrative psychotherapist for the past 33 years, she is a mind-body-spirit medicine professional, teacher and public speaker. She holds two master’s degrees and is presently a Doctoral and Ph.D. candidate in integrative and natural medicine based in quantum physics theory. enteringyourownheart.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 34, Number 3, June/July 2015.