Mid-life crisis or mid-life transformation

We have all heard the stories of the 40-something man or woman who bolts from a long-term marriage, buys a sports car, finds a new mate who is 20 years younger and seems to turn their entire life upside down.

by Nancy Hofman — 

We have all heard the stories of the 40-something man or woman who bolts from a long-term marriage, buys a sports car, finds a new mate who is 20 years younger and seems to turn their entire life upside down. Stories like this are inevitably labeled as mid-life crises, described with a slow shaking of the head, and perhaps even a “tsk, tsk.”

Why is it that we all know of so many people who have experienced something similar? Could it be, perhaps, that all of us actually do undergo such a shift, but some of us just handle it differently? Perhaps the term mid-life crisis is used to describe a stage of life all of us face, a time of reflection and self-evaluation that can stop us dead in our tracks or catapult us to a higher level of growth and authentic living. Perhaps we can choose instead to call it a mid-life transformation.

The evolution is inevitable. Sometime between the ages of 35 and 50, we find ourselves pausing to step back and examine what our life has become. It is not uncommon to hear sentiments such as “How did I get here?” “This is not the way my life was supposed to be.” “By this age I was sure I would have accomplished more.” For some, the first instinctive action that follows those thoughts is to look around for someone to blame. Unfortunately, they usually miss the one person who really is responsible: themselves, and instead point the finger at the people they are closest to. They mistakenly believe they could have everything, “if only these other people would stop making my life so difficult.” With that kind of logic, of course, all one can do is change the scenery and hope that reality follows. As long as we look outside ourselves for fulfillment, it is destined to be just that — always outside ourselves. True fulfillment can only come from within.

So let us look again at a spirit-centered approach to mid-life transformation. It does not have to be a negative time. Rather, it can be a time of great awakening. Life moves very, very fast — having the opportunity to stop, take stock of your life, and choose to start living consciously and deliberately to create your reality is a most valuable gift.

Begin by asking yourself questions. Are you really filling your moments with things that are rewarding, or are you spinning your wheels on meaningless busy-work? Are you connecting with people or connecting with a TV and a computer? What did you dream of when you were young? What is stopping you from becoming all that you want to be? When you begin to notice some of these thoughts, it is time to pay attention.

Make plans for a weekend of solitude to quiet the noise of the outside world and focus inward. Spend time connecting with your higher power and cementing goals for the second half of your life. Create a plan for reaching those goals with specific time frames and rewards for achieving each step. Write gratitude letters to members of your family and friends, acknowledging their contributions in your life. Every person you have ever met has played a valuable and important role in the evolution that brought you to where you are today. Acknowledge those gifts.

The key to a mid-life transformation is to get in touch with our soul on a very deep level and begin to listen. This is a time of opportunity to reconnect with our higher power and consciously redirect our energies for our own fulfillment, as well as the betterment of others and the planet as a whole. The time has come to take the life experiences and knowledge we have gained so far and stop letting life happen to us, and begin to powerfully create our own reality in any way we want.

Mid-life crisis? No. Mid-life transformation? Absolutely! It could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Nancy Hofman is a hypnotherapist and life coach in Avondale, Ariz., who specializes in personal transformation. www.dawnofanewyou.com, [email protected] or 602-349-0164.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 26, Number 5, October/November 2007.