My journey with gratitude in three stages

My journey with gratitude in three stages

If you have been reading this article all the way to the end without doing anything else, you may be suffering from AAHD.

by Scott Kalechstein Grace — 

Stage 1 — Hey, universe, I am not going to be grateful, and you cannot make me! Let us be honest here. What is there to be grateful for? Life sucks, and I am a victim of it all. You want my gratitude? God, first improve my finances, my relationship, my health challenges, etc. Then I will be grateful. It is your move, God.

Stage 2 — OK, I realize I “should” be grateful if I want to attract what I want. So I am going to will myself. I practice, practice, practice by working on those gratitude muscles at the inner gym, taking up a daily gratitude journal, counting my blessings, etc.

Stage 3 — Grace rocks my world. I have learned to hear all of nature, as well as the cells of my body, singing a constant song of gratitude for the miracle of being alive, and I effortlessly join in. No more practice. I am gushing great gobs of gratitude without trying. Life owes me nothing. It has already given me everything and is in itself a gift that keeps on giving. I receive graciously.

Warning: The regular and chronic practice of gratitude has been known to cause abundant attention happiness disorder (AAHD) in four out of five humans. Do you suffer from it?

More and more people are exhibiting symptoms of AAHD. They may greet you with a typical “How are you?” but something is very off when they ask. They actually look you in the eye and smile. They actually have time for you to respond. They actually want you to respond with more than a few words. They care.

Doctors are seeing more and more cases of AAHD, and it is reaching epidemic proportions. These people walk into offices with no complaints, just for a checkup. They read books, not just skim them. They play with their children. They have hobbies. They engage in foreplay, and cuddle and talk afterwards.

Many are severely underwhelmed by life, which is a term coined by noted AAHD researcher and sufferer, me. I define “underwhelmed” as when life’s daily tasks and challenges have become so consistently manageable that a sense of overall stability takes over the human nervous system.

It is estimated that the entire continent of Australia is infected with AAHD, as evidenced by the widespread daily usage of the proverbial phrase, “No worries, mate.”

AAHD starts in childhood when well-meaning parents, probably AAHD sufferers themselves, begin to give their children an abundance of eye contact, presence and warm, loving attention. These children are often deprived of TV and video games and made to spend time outside in nature, interacting with other children, animals and trees. More often than not, blood tests of young AAHD sufferers reveal a pronounced sugar and processed-food deficiency.

Successful treatment of this disorder begins with a steady and disciplined diet of fast food, three basic microwaved meals per day, supplemented with candy and soft drinks. Meals should be served in front of a television or a computer to relieve the temptation to indulge in “family time,” when bonding may unwittingly occur. Parents are encouraged to “get a life” and not spend so much time with their children.

Thanks to modern and efficient portable communication devices, most people, while engaged in a phone conversation, are also preparing a meal, typing an email, driving a car and sometimes even making love. The AAHD sufferers are often found single tasking, which is a term for the primitive practice of doing only one thing at a time. In some of the most advanced cases, the diseased have been known to wait patiently while on hold without engaging in any other activity, except perhaps some singing or whistling.

If you have been reading this article all the way to the end without doing anything else, you may be suffering from AAHD. If so, stay away from scottsongs.com, where you would find resources, songs, books, etc. that will surely take you down the rabbit hole of becoming present, centered, joyful and at ease with life.

Scott Grace is an intuitive, game-changing life coach who does sessions via phone or Skype. Free intro session at [email protected] or scottsongs.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 34, Number 1, February/March 2015.