Signs that someone is your soul mate

Signs that someone is your soul mate

Whether you are currently married, in a relationship or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you discover what role this person will play in your life.

by Carmen Harra, Ph.D., and Alexandra Harra — 

Throughout my career, I have seen everything from couples marrying their childhood loves to people in their retirement years still struggling with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere in between these two extremes, meaning that we experience several relationships before finding the person we believe is our perfect match.

Whether you are currently married, in a relationship or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you discover what role this person will play in your life. After all, you cannot avoid the inevitable and often uncomfortable questions: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me?

The following 10 signs can indicate a soul mate bond (or a lack of) between you and your partner.

1. You just know — Describing how a soul mate makes you feel is difficult. It is a tenacious, profound and blissfully lingering emotion that no words can express.

2. Flashbacks — If your partner is your soul mate, chances are he or she has been present in at least one of your past lives. Soul mates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soul mate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, in a different setting.

3. You just “get” each other — Ever met two partners who finish each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but it is the signal of a soul mate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soul mate when you experience it with your romantic partner.

4. You fall in love with his or her flaws — No relationship is perfect and even soul mate relationships will experience ups and downs, but that bond will be much harder to break. Soul mates have an easier time of tolerating, even learning to love each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soul mate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and not-so-great tendencies we all have.

5. It is intense — A soul mate relationship may be more intense than other relationships, in both positive and negative ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you are focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the difficult moment.

6. It feels like “you and me against the world” — Soul mates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” This does not mean isolating themselves from others, but they feel so linked together that they are ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they are at each other’s side.

7. Mentally inseparable — Soul mates often have a connection similar to the kind twins have with each other. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. They often can intuit when something is wrong with the other, even when they are miles apart. Even at a distance, soul mate minds are always in tune.

8. Feeling secure and protected — Regardless of gender, your partner should always make you feel secure and protected. Your soul mate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. Someone who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is most certainly not your soul mate.

9. Cannot imagine life without this person — A soul mate is not someone you can easily walk away from. This is someone you cannot imagine being without — a person you firmly believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. Look each other in the eye — Soul mates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking, more often than ordinary couples do. They almost “read” each other this way, which comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence in them.

Carmen Harra, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist, intuitive counselor and author of seven books. Her daughter Alexandra Harra is a certified life coach and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and to RelationshipHeadquarters.com. They are the authors of  The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships. carmenharra.com and penguin.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 34, Number 3, June/July 2015.