What about me?

I am responsible for my journey on this planet, in this lifetime.

by Irene Conlan — 

Recently, I told my almost-four-year-old grandson that Friday was his Daddy’s birthday and that we would do some things to surprise him. He looked me right in the eye and asked (with some degree of emotion), “What about me?” I told him that his birthday would be coming soon, but that wasn’t satisfactory to him. Over the next few days his question, “What about me?” played around in my head as I tried to come up with the right answer.

Then finally, while we played bowling on the computer together, I got it! Everyone had had a birthday but him. He couldn’t remember his third birthday party, and from his view, everyone had gotten special recognition except him. In the last four months, he had celebrated birthdays for his sister, mother, me, my best friend, my son’s best friend and now his dad. Yet, none for Jack. No wonder he wanted to know, “What about me?”

So we sat down, pulled up a calendar and talked about days, weeks and months. I showed him all 12 months of the year, and we talked about how the year ended in December — after Christmas. I showed him where everyone’s birthday was on the calendar. Then we pulled up a calendar for the coming year, and I showed him that he was first on it. The very first week of the year, Jack has his birthday.

We counted the weeks, and he got excited. He told me what he wanted for his birthday cake, and we went online to look at Thomas the Train birthday decorations. He also had some ideas about what gifts he wants. All is well. Not only does he have a birthday, but now knows his is first and is absolutely delighted.

Isn’t that the big question for most of us: “What about me?” The answer is not always easy, and it implies that someone else is supposed to figure it out for us. The real answer, however, comes from within.

Some people think it’s an ego question, and sometimes it likely is. But can we really ask the question, “How can I help you?” if we haven’t answered the question, “What about me?” We are, after all, responsible for ourselves. You are responsible for you, and I am responsible for me. So … what about me?

My generation was taught that we should always put others first and ourselves last, and I still hear that now and then. It’s a commendable teaching, but I think it is a little off the track, so to speak. No wonder that we and the generations that followed us have self-esteem issues.

It is imperative that I know who I am and what I’m here for. It’s critical that I know my talents, abilities and preferences, and it’s important that I develop them to the highest degree possible. It is essential that I find balance, joy and self-sufficiency. I need to know how to work and play with others, and I need to know how to love someone else deeply and as unselfishly as possible. And, especially, I need to love myself.

I am responsible for my journey on this planet, in this lifetime. Part of that journey is becoming the best me I can be, and part of that journey is helping others with their journey. This means I need to love me first, so I can know how to love someone else.

Spend some quiet time alone to begin to find the answers about who you really are and what you are here for. Learn all those things about yourself that you love and that make you loveable and loving. Go ahead. Get still and quiet, then ask the question, “What about me?”

Irene Conlan has a master’s degree in nursing, is a certified hypnotherapist and a certified past-life regression therapist at The PowerZone in Scottsdale, Ariz. www.theselfimprovementblog.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 27, Number 5, October/November 2008.