by Sherry Anshara —
Compassion is interesting stuff. So interesting, in fact, that it can get confusing. Confusion may result from a belief that compassion is the same thing as enabling. It is not. Enabling is giving someone permission to act out inappropriately, whether it is in the form of addiction, abuse or any other inappropriate behavior. When enabling occurs, power is given away consciously or unconsciously.
When you enable someone, you accept that this is the way life is and will continue to be. Existing in an ineffective, abusive situation can excuse the abuse or addiction by confusing what compassion really means. Compassion does not perceive abuse or addiction as acceptable. It allows you to understand that the other person (or persons) is dysfunctional, and that you can choose to participate in the dysfunction or not. Being a victim or enabler is never acceptable.
You can have compassion without being a victim or an enabler. An enabler actually plays a victimizer role, which allows the victimized to be the victimizer, the addict or abuser. An enabler gives the victimizer permission to victimize and, in turn, through dysfunctional support, the enabler becomes the victimizer to the victimizer, establishing an intense circle of confusing behavior.
The push-me-pull-me scenario goes around and around in the relationship, with everyone walking on eggshells, afraid to let go or change. Yet each person still expects different results, which can be very challenging when trying to be compassionate. But it can be done.
Let us get back to the word compassion. Words that end in “ion” refer to the cellular level or ion level of your consciousness. For example, aggravation means you are aggravated and depressed at your cellular level. Compassion is the compass at your ion or cellular level of consciousness. It is the great guide within you. You have the choice to be clear and compassionate or to stay confused.
When you are compassionate, you guide yourself away from fear, anger, depression and sadness — all the deep negativity that resides in your cellular or ion level.
Use compassion as a compass and live life through your heart. To guide yourself from your heart with empathy is the path to a wonderful, deep connection to yourself and others. Empathy is not emotional. It does not hold emotional hooks or pain attached to the past. Empathy allows you to see without judgment and from your own power.
Compassion is the compass that connects you to your innate intuition and self-trust. Trust your intuition or “gut” feeling, as well as your heart, without question, in order to live a fulfilled life.
Your inner compass will guide and prepare you in finding great relationships and positivity. Compassion is the way of your heart. You know the way.
Sherry Anshara is a medical intuitive, author, founder of the QuantumPathic Center of Consciousness, creator of the QuantumPathic® Energy Method and founder/president of the Blended Healthcare Consortium in Scottsdale, Ariz. www.quantumpathic.com, www.sherryanshara.com, [email protected] or 480-609-0874.
Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 31, Number 2, April/May 2012.
April 12, 2012
Love and Relationships