Appreciating and empowering yourself leads to appreciating your relationships.
by Sherry Anshara —
You have certainly heard of vampires. They drain your blood and suck the life out of you. So, are there really vampires or are these blood-suckers masquerading as people in your life? If the second answer is yes, then ask yourself why you have invited them in to drain the life out of you.
Are you running an “I can fix them” or an “I can heal them” program? Do you think: They are my project — I know what is best for them, more than they do; I can change them; or I can, I can, I can … do something even though I am exhausted, drained and crazed?
How is that working for you? Not so much? Then you have literally become the absorber. You are physically absorbing their draining energy and taking it on as your own. You are giving your power away under the false assumption that you can fix the other person or persons. It is time for a reality check — because you cannot continue on this path.
This is really why dysfunctional relationships do not work. It is impossible to make the unworkable work. You cannot change the behavior or the actions within this vampire paradigm until you are willing to step out of that absorber box and really see what is happening. You must stop playing the victim by allowing your life and your energy to be drained.
Moving from the absorber to the observer is the shift you will need to make. Simply put: In the fields of quantum physics, quantum mechanics or quantum theory, the only way to change something is to become the observer.
You must take yourself out of a situation, detach from the emotional bondage of the relationship and observe the facts. This non-emotional perspective will show you what you and the other person are doing. You will begin to get clarity about how you are participating in the situation and the relationship.
All of your self-judgment — in fact all judgments about the relationship —should go out the window. You must see your part of the relationship equation and begin to understand that the situation is not good for you. The vampire paradigm is good for no one. Stepping out of the box and seeing the experience from a clear vantage point is the only way to escape these vampiric bonds.
You can make conscious choices to change the dynamics of your involvement in the relationship and situation. As you practice being the non-emotional observer, your behavioral patterns will shift dramatically.
You are not the fixer anymore. You are not the complacent victim of the vampire. From this fabulous non-emotional observer view, you can now see what you have learned about yourself from past experiences and relationships, and move forward. This does not mean that you have to cut people out of your life; rather, you are no longer participating in energy-draining, dysfunctional relationships. You can pick and choose how and if you will participate.
Appreciating and empowering yourself leads to appreciating your relationships. Now you can even empower others because you do not have to fix or rescue anyone. As the observer, you will see and learn much. Not only will you begin to smell the proverbial roses, but you also will be able to enjoy their beauty and fragrance, minus the thorns. Step into being the observer and you will not be the absorber anymore.
Sherry Anshara, medical intuitive, author, founder of the QuantumPathic Center of Consciousness, creator of the QuantumPathic® Energy Method and founder/president of the Blended Healthcare Consortium in Scottsdale, Ariz. www.quantumpathic.com, www.sherryanshara.com, [email protected] or 480-609-0874.
Reprinted from AZNetNews, Volume 30, Number 6, Dec/Jan 2012.
February 23, 2012
Philosophical, Relationships