Do I love my pain?

As strange as it may sound, many people do not heal because they find the pain rewarding. It may be a way to keep someone in or out of their lives. It could be a means for getting pills to numb one’s existence or a good excuse for remaining stuck and not moving forward.

by Dr. Tom Stempel — 

Pain is a message from your body telling you something is wrong or out of balance. It often originates in your emotions or spirit. We each have a place where we hold stress or tension; frequently, it’s in the shoulders or back muscles, which can result in a headache, stiff neck, or back or shoulder pain. Some hold their stress in their intestines.

So how is it possible for someone to love their pain? In our fast-paced, “quick fix” world, the initial thought is often, “Give me a pill. Make the pain go away.” But pills only allay the symptoms; they don not address the cause of the pain. Many people wonder why their pain returns or is never really resolved. It’s because they have not taken time to attend to the underlying cause.

You can help relieve pain by addressing its cause. Is there a relationship you need to deal with? Does a work situation require resolution? Are you living your life in line with your truths and values? Have you even taken the time to identify your truths and values? Are you holding on to someone or something you need to release?

As strange as it may sound, many people do not heal because they find the pain rewarding. It may be a way to keep someone in or out of their lives. It could be a means for getting pills to numb one’s existence or a good excuse for remaining stuck and not moving forward.

Look at the events and relationships in your life and consider their physical and emotional effects on you. Decide what you need to address and do it. If you do not have the strength or the tools, seek help. Many modalities, from bodywork and energywork to life coaching, hypnotherapy and acupuncture, can help.

For deep-seated pain, you may need to work with a psychologist or psychiatrist. Know you are in control. You must take the first step in your healing process. It will be the first of many, but the place to begin is with the decision to make a change.

Tom Stempel, M.D., is founder and director of Dynamic Pathways Wellness Center and former chief surgeon with the Phoenix Indian Medical Center. He integrates Western medicine with mind/body studies in his private practice of acupuncture, life coaching and hypnotherapy. 602-254-0071 or www.energeticpathways.com.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 25, Number 2, April/May 2006.