Do you know how you feel?

We have lost touch with ourselves and with our emotions.

by Stacey Badger — 

Many of us do not know how to feel anymore. Our bodies hold our emotions and have the ability to tell us what is going on inside, yet so many of us have shut down. As a result, we no longer can sense the messages our bodies are trying to communicate with us. We have lost touch with ourselves and with our emotions.

Was there trauma and violence in your childhood home? Did you grow up with so much dysfunction that you repressed your feelings and emotions? Were you not safe to express yourself for fear that if you did you would only feel pain? As a child, you may have learned to unconsciously stuff your emotions, which eventually became a life pattern. You learned that it was not safe to feel, and this is how you learned to survive.

Living this way takes a toll on your physical body. It may have felt safe to put up walls, shutting out all the pain and people who you thought would bring you harm. But you also built walls around your heart. You grew up as a stranger to yourself — not knowing how to express your feelings; not knowing what it is to live as a whole human being; not knowing how it feels to have emotions.

As we stuff our emotions and pain, and act as if nothing is wrong, our body is absorbing everything. If we do not allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions in a healthy way, the vibrations of these locked emotions cause harm on our physical body. The emotions and feelings are unable to be released.

How can you learn to feel your emotions? Seek help, as it is more difficult to do alone. When you release your emotions naturally, it may feel strange at first, and you may even feel frightened, but you should keep at it. Here are some steps you can take to reconnect with yourself.

First: Find someone you trust and with whom you can work — someone with whom you feel safe and can share your deepest emotional secrets. This may be a trained therapist, psychologist, body worker or other healer.

Second: You must let yourself feel your body; your emotions are resting there. Many psychologists, spiritual teachers, physical therapists and other healers will tell you that you first need to feel your body to know what is going on inside of you.

Third: Remember to breathe. Our emotions do not always arise in moments of therapy or while we are working with someone who is guiding us to naturally release our feelings. You can move through these difficult times when you are on your own by breathing deeply and exhaling fully.

Fourth: Do not judge yourself or your feelings. You must have compassion toward yourself for having the courage to feel your emotions. This is not always easy. Be mindful first and foremost, and remember to congratulate yourself for a job well done.

Coming home to yourself is the greatest gift. Look inside and ask others to help you as you find the courage to return. You are worthy; you deserve it; and, above all, know in your heart that you will get there.

Stacey Badger is an author/speaker who is writing her first book, Over the Rainbow. She previously practiced law for 10 years, did corporate business training and also worked with Dreamtime, LLC. 480-208-2030.

Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 29, Number 4, August/September 2010.